Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the...wait WTF is This?

Let me preface this review with a bit of praise. Steven Spielberg is one of the only mega-powers in Hollywood who I feel actually deserves the amount of respect he receives. His resume is nearly flawless, and he crafted my personal favorite movie of all-time, Jurassic Park (The Lost World never happened as far as I'm concerned). Four years ago when I heard that ol' Stevie was returning to the world of Indiana Jones and everyone from the original trilogy was on board, I quickly booked the next available trip to hype-town. The tragedy here is that I failed to recognize the warning signs. Not Spielberg, not Shia, not ancient Harrison Ford, but the the ruiner of all your childhood memories, George Lucas.

After Return of the Jedi, George Lucas forgot how to write a coherent story. If you don't believe me, then watch the new Star Wars trilogy. If you still don't believe me, watch it again. In all fairness, George wasn't alone in crafting the script for crystal skull. David Koepp, writer of my beloved Jurassic Park script, and the much less loved War of the Worlds. Like War of the Worlds, KOTCS is well acted, and the action sequences work very well. Also like War of the Worlds, the plot is haphazardly constructed. From the opening frame until the god-awful super happy/lame ending, the reasons why Indiana Jones is involved in any way with the hunting of the crystal skull are suspect at best. This is highlighted by the multitude of scenes where Indy has to explain exactly what is going on. I'm talking 10 minute stretches of expository dialogue that should be shown rather than told.

I really hate that the story was so terrible, because there were so many instances where I wanted to enjoy the film. Harrison Ford played an aged-Indy very well. Shia LaBouf brought the youth and the attitude that Ford had in his younger days, and like I said earlier, the action sequences were excellent. In each of the earlier films, Indy's quests had some sort of deep importance to him as a character (Well, maybe not in Temple of Doom). In Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Indy feels like he is simply along for the ride. A ride that lacked the sense of adventure and coherence that made the original Indy's so great.

Oh and I did I mention Aliens. In an Indiana Jones movie. I'm not kidding. Please, George Lucas, I beg you. From here on out leave my childhood screen legends alone.


6/10

Grand Theft Auto 4: My Long Overdue Review

I'm actually very glad I waited to write down my thoughts about this game. At first I thought GTA 4 was the definition of over rated. IGN gave it a 10, 1up gave it an A+, EGM gave it a 10, so when I first played the game my expectations were at the 10 level. So naturally I was dissapointed. Weeks have passed and I've put about 35 hours into the game, and with some perspective I feel I can give GTA 4 it's fair score.

8/10......Here's how I broke it down.

Gameplay:

How a game plays is the square one, most important factor of any game. This was frustrating for me, because where GTA excells in so many areas, it is very inconsistent when it comes to actually controlling your character. The aiming system works very well and is an improvement over past GTAs. The ability to lock on to your enemies is a plus, especially considering the terrible free-aim function. The cover system is very clunky also, especially if you have played games like Gears of War and Uncharted. Sometimes when I try to take cover between to objects that are close to one another, Niko just starts shaking and wigging out. This usually ends up with me dead and my controller somewhere across the room. The driving system takes a little getting used to, as it's very tight and more realistic than past GTAs. This is nice until you start trying to chase people down and instead of bullets through their back window I end up in a bank of newspaper kiosks. I got used to many of these flaws over time, mainly because the story of the game really draws you in, making it easier to overlook the games control problems.

Story

Some games are just games, like sports franchises and Guitar Hero, but then there are games who do much more with the medium than people give credit. There has been a great-deal of hyperbole centering on GTA 4's storyline. IGN described it as "oscar-worthy", but what this really means is that Rockstar toned down the toungue-in-cheek jokes a little and turned up the serious drama. However engaging the story may be, it is not an oscar calibur tale. Once you reach the Florian/Bernie missions you'll soon understand what I'm talking about. It's not much different than past GTA plots. You start from the bottom of the crime latter and work your way to the top. What sets this game apart though is the fact that your character has a conscience, and you as the player make key decisions that effect your character. The character of Nico isn't some mindless thug. Sure he commits murder, steals and might pick up a prostitute or two.....but he feels guilty about some of it! That's drama if you didn't know.

Visuals

When you first look at GTA 4 you might not be very impressed by the overall look of the game, as their are many "prettier" games on the market. My advice is to just walk down the street and pay attention to the ridiculous amounts of detail. Every street has a name, every building has unique markings and weathering, the traffic lights and crosswalks work in harmony. Liberty City feels very real and it's amazing the amount of work that must have gone into its creation. I found myself sight-seeing quite a bit, which is justified, as Liberty City is a modern work of art.

Replay Value

I have always hated games that I play through one time and never have any use for after that. With games costing $60, I like to get my money's worth. The single player mode in GTA4 can take anywhere from 25 hours to 50 hours depending how deep you want to go. That my friends is replay value. This isn't even counting the time you will surely spend just blowing things up and running people down with your car.

The Rundown

At first I was supremely disappointed in GTA 4. Mainly because I didn't feel it lived up to the seemingly perfect review scores it received. Once I was able to separate hype from reality I was able to finally figure out how I really felt about the experience. GTA 4 is a very solid and enjoyable game that if nothing else is an example of how far video games have come. They are no longer silly little time wasters. Games can now be considered art with enough time and effort, and GTA is art. However, the game play elements fall short in many ways which in my eyes is 90% of the what makes games enjoyable.

So once again.....

8/10

Lost Double Dip: Something Nice Back Home and Cabin Fever

It's a shame that it has taken me so long to write down my thoughts on the past two Lost episodes, as both of them were jam packed with new elements that added overall mythos, especially "Cabin Fever". What's not a shame is the reason why I haven't had much time to write. See, I am about to graduate from college. Which means I'm going to miss the infinite amount of excuses that college has offered me, but after five years and two degrees, it's safe to say that I'm ready for new things. Those new things will undoubtedly continue to involve my fanboy love for Lost. So don't look for that to change anytime soon.

So... about the past two episodes.

Something Nice Back Home

I will continue to spin the broken record when I state that I have zero interest in the love story angles on Lost. I realize that a large number of Lost's audience live and die by them, but I find the love triangles, quadrangles and all other love configurations to be minor story elements at best. I love the character dynamics on the show, and I love every character's back story, but when you're on an island that defies the space-time continuum, cures diseases and death. Then I feel there are far more interesting elements to study aside from who is in love. If I want that, then I'll watch P.S. I Love You and cry myself to sleep. With that being said, my favorite parts of this episode involved Jack's downward spiral, and the creepy words of Hurley, poor crazy Hurley.

Despite the plot revolving around a love angle once again, it was still effective in setting up how Jack came unhinged. Jack and Kate playing house was an interesting twist, but the way if fit into the timeline left no doubt that it wouldn't last. Once Kate agreed to marry Jack it seemed as if things were too perfect, and Hurley was quick to point that out. While I don't buy into the idea that they are all dead (purgatory,booo!), it's understandable that Hurley would think such a thing considering he has conversations with Charlie. It was also believable that thoughts of death and regret would drive Jack to the brink after his mainland encounter with his father. Regret which stems from whatever happened to Claire, as it seems Jack is aware that Claire was his sister. Which Jack makes evident in the "You're not even related to him" comment.

As for the island tales of this episode, there wasn't much to chew on. Sawyer and Miles being stuck together with Aaron will be interesting to see play out, and as this past week indicated, Claire's fate is a giant question mark. The surgery on Jack was a bit on the hokey side, but the interaction between Kate and Juliet was well acted and well written. It's also good to see Bernard get some screen time. He's more than just a dentist you know. He knows Morse code!

Overall, Something Nice Back Home was a solid episode that helped to fill in the gaps in Jack's timeline and raise more questions in regards to the islands mysterious qualities.

7.5/10

Cabin Fever

There are so many ways to approach this episode that I am honestly at a loss for how to approach it. Writing in paragraphs would be silly, as my recap could quickly turn into a sequel to the longest book ever written, which I would name "The Long Book Ever Written II: Keep Reading Sucker, You're Not Even Close"

So here are my thoughts/questions broken down by topic, and cleverly divided by bullet points

Richard Alpert

• He doesn't age, this is clear, but does he time travel? Ben ran into Richard on the island when he was around the age of seven, this is also the same time Richard came to see Locke. I'm not convinced that Richard was so much time traveling as he was teleporting off the island (like Ben did a few weeks go) One would think that whatever technology that is being used on the island may have been there the entire time, and who's to say that Alpert wasn't able use it.

The Test

• During Alpert's visit with Locke he asked him to pick out the thing that belongs to him already. I'd be lying if I said I knew what it meant. The only theory that I have at the moment is that Richard was testing to see if Locke was having episodes similar to Desmond, giving him flashes of future events. This is hinted at through Locke's drawing of the smoke monster.

Keamy

• He's an awesome character, especially given the writers tendency to give us Villains in shades of grey. Keamy is 100% asshole , and the actor plays it well. I can't wait for the inevitable show down with Sawyer.
• The XM radio attached to his arm= Smoke Monster defense strategy, or at least that's what I think it is.

The Freighter

• Desmond has been relativly quiet since "The Constant" and it appears he's beginning to get his memories back. I'm guessing the next time him and Sayid meet that Penny may be at the center of it, and it wont be over dinner.
  

• I'm still at a loss as to how Michael will play in the events leading into the Season Finale. He doesn't appear to have a plan, but now that he's free from captivity that could change.


• I loved how the death of the Doctor played out, especially considering Omar had mentioned it to him only seconds before his throat was slit. It's clear there is a time rift, but how?

Locke, Ben and Hurley

• Loved the dialogue between them. Michael Emerson never ceases to amaze me. "Destiny..She's a fickle bitch". Classic. However it's still hard to tell whether or not this is all some calculated plan by Ben, or whether he really has lost control after the death of Alex.


• I'm happy to see that Jorge Garcia has been injected into some serious plot lines this season. If the episode had ended with Hurley giving the candy bar to Ben it might have been the best thing ever.

The Cabin

• Christian is dead and he seems allright with it, but Claire? She was obviously alright with being there. And Aaron? "He's right where he needs to be" said Christian. Well Aaron's with Sawyer and soon to be Kate, so is that where he's meant to be? How Christian keeps appearing is still one of the big mysteries on the show. My only theory is that the way the island can effect the living (craziness, time jumps) can also have an effect on the dead.


• The question that Locke asked was a throwback to Season One Locke. He has his swagger back, what happens next should be nothing short of awesome.


• The idea of moving the island isn't far fetched. Think about the Black Rock. How else would an old slave ship end up in the middle of an island unless the island popped up underneath it. The island has been moved before and I have no doubt we will find out how. Maybe even this season.

Cabin Fever was a giant shout out to fans of Lost who feast on every last detail of the show. There have been few shows in television history that embed such small details into every episode. These aren't meaningless easter eggs either, they are elements to the story that allow the viewer to take their involvement as far down the rabbit hole as they want to go. Sure, you can ignore these things and still enjoy the show, but your missing the other 90% of the iceberg if you do that.

9.5/10

This weeks episode is the first part of a three part season titled "There's No Place Like Home". It looks to be filled with awesomesauce, so until then....graduate college.

Iron Man: Now That's What I'm Talkin 'Bout!

I'll say it. I hated all three Spider-Man films. A combination of terrible writing and the twelve-year-oldification of the story ruined for me a trilogy of films that should have been classic. Yeah it made tons of money, but that will all be in vain when you look back in 20 years and shake your head in disbelief at how bad those movies were/are. Batman Begins proved that it's possible to make a comic movie that is faithful to the tone of the original yet still able to appeal to wide audiences. Iron Man takes everything learned from Batman Begins in regards to storytelling and inserts a dose of "kick ass", kicking the summer movie season off with one of the best superhero/comic book movies of all time. Forgive the hyperbole, but it's true. After the un-watchable disasters that were the Fantastic Four films, Marvel Comics had enough. Starting with Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk later this summer, Marvel has begun to produce their own films. This gives them complete control over casting, writing and the final cuts of the films, and if Iron Man is an example of things to come, thencomic book fanboys have a lot to look forward too.

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First off, the casting of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is right up there with Chrisitian Bale as one of the best castings of a superhero in film history. Downey Jr. owns the role, as he is Tony Stark in every way. Mad props to Jon Favreau for not backing down and fighting to get his man for the role. Once the credits role, I dare you to think of someone who would have been better suited (no pun intended) for the role. The rest of the supporting cast is equally superb, as none of them are a slouch when it comes to their acting chops. Terrence Howard, Gwenyth Paltrow, and Jeff Bridges help make sure Iron Man will be taken seriously.

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For those not familiar with the entire Iron Man mythos (me), the origins of Iron Man and life of Tony Stark are told in a such a way that it draws you in right away. I especially liked the mini-montage of Tony's life during the awards ceremony, it was creative and grounded Tony Stark in the real world. The story takes its time which allows time for the audience to get to know Stark, and by the time he builds the first suit, you feel as if he really could.

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Aside from the excellent writing and pacing of the script, the action sequences were pure summer movie gold. The movie opens with an intense scene that I shall not ruin, and once Downey Jr. dons his suit, it's balls to the wall from there. The only slight quibble that I had was with the final battle between Iron Man and the Iron Monger, not that it was bad, it's just very sudden and doesn't last very long. The true ending however, is money, continuing the theme of this movie that Robert Downey Jr. is in fact awesome.

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It has been a very long time since I have enjoyed a movie this much. From a pure "fun at the movies" standpoint, Iron Man trumps everything that I saw last year. The new comic book movie standard has been set.

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What.....there's a new Dark Knight trailer...... OK, the standard has been set until July. Regardless, Iron Man is awesome, don't miss out on seeing it on the big screen.

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9/10

Seriously Hillary, denial is the first step towards depression.

After destroying Hillary in my home state last night (Guilford county what up!), it's all but certain that Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee. Even with the inclusion of Florida and Michigan, it is now, without a doubt impossible for her to "legitimately" win this thing. On top of that, every national poll puts her behind John McCain, all of her support is going Obama, and she's broke. Yet this morning Hillary announces that she will continue on. How she thinks she is helping the democratic party at this point boggles my mind. There are only two reasons why I think Hillary is doing this:

1. She wants to bow out gracefully after winning West Virginia and Kentucky in order to go out on top.

2. She's crazy.

Now it could be a combination of the two, but I'm leaning towards number one. I respect the fact that she doesn't want to give up, but look how that worked out for Roger Clemmens. I just hope she bows out by the end of the week. Hillary could do a great service to her party by campaigning for Obama, but instead she insists on helping John McCain win the election by continuing to twist the knife that is now lodged in her own back. I'm starting to think Hillary may actually be apart of Rush Limbaugh's "Operation Chaos". (Joking) Keep your eyes and ears open over the coming days as super delegates begin to come out in support of Obama, as the official Presidential ticket should be set very soon.