The Climaxan

Moving on up......

2008-07-10T18:14:00.004-04:00

As you can tell I haven't updated my blog in quite a while, and the updating that I have done has been a bit on the lame side. This has been the result of a combination of things that all involve me not having enough time to do anything I enjoy. I'm not a quitter however, and not only am I not going to quit blogging, I'm going to upgrade the experience. After three years of writing here on trusty blogspot I am moving theclimaxan to slightly greener grass. That of course means http://theclimaxan.com. That's right. My own domain. Don't be fooled, it's still a blog, but now without the stigma of some other site attached to it. Check it out, make it your home page, show your children.

http://theclimaxan.com

or you can follow the link to the right -------------------------------------------------------------->

Predicting the draft (NBA that is)

2008-06-26T14:15:00.003-04:00

Some draft experts have said that tonights NBA draft is impossible to predict. Therefor I am going to make an honest attempt to defy the odds and forsee the first 10 picks for the 2008 NBA draft. My guesses are based on facts pulled from various draft and sports sites (draftexpress, hoopshype, nbadraft.net, si.com) combined with my terrible sports intuiton. Let's see how I do.

1. Chicago Bulls- Derrick Rose
2. Miami Heat- O.J. Mayo
3. Minnesota Timberwolves- Michael Beasley
4. Seattle Supersonics- Jerryd Bayless
5. Charlotte Bobcats (trade with Memphis)- Kevin Love
6. New York Knicks- Russell Westbrook
7. L.A. Clippers- Eric Gordon
8. Milwaukee Bucks- Brook Lopez
9. Memphis Grizzlies- Joe Alexander
10. New Jersey Nets - Danilo Gallinari

The big shocker here is that Miami will go with Mayo. Pat Riley isn't crazy about Beasely, and Mayo and D. Wade already have great chemistry together. There is a good chance the Heat will try to get some value for the number 2 pick, so wouldn't be shocked to see them trade out of the spot and try to land Mayo by other means (trade). If no deal goes down I see them taking Mayo at the 2 spot regardless. This would leave Minnesota free to take the player they really want in Beasley. The only other trade I'm predicting will go down is Charlotte moving up to take Kevin Love. Larry Brown has a man crush on this kid and MJ seems willing to ablidge (the #9, #20, and maybe Adam Morrison). After that I'm taking a shot in the dark. I'll check in tonight during the draft and see how well I fare.

UPDATE

I got two picks right. I suck at predicting the NBA draft.

Shaq can't rap. ESPN lacks street cred.

2008-06-26T10:35:00.005-04:00

One of the more entertaining news that came around this week was the now infamous "Shaq Kobe Rap". If you haven't seen it, then I suggest you hop on over to youtube and check it out if only to see an example of terrible freestyling.

An example

"I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, and now I'm divorced. Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes"

Classic.

Don't get me wrong, that isn't the worst freestyle I've ever heard. That mantle belongs to some white kid somewhere (and It happened in my backyard). The best part about this ordeal is that it was the lead story on Sportscenter the other night. Watching Jon Buchigross's face as he reacted with disbelief to this freestyle is what dreams are made of. ESPN tried so desperately to act like this was something serious. No lie they ran the clip 3 times, and had video packages of the Shaq v. Kobe "feud" rolling throughout the hour. It wasn't until Screamin A. Smith made an appearance that some sense was brought back to the show (saying Stephen A. Smith, and "makes sense" in the same sentence makes me feel dirty). Despite Screamin A. pointing out ESPN's lack of street credibility, sports writers and commentators continued to tout the re-ignition of the Kobe, Shaq feud. Completely ignoring one of the fundamentals of the freestyle rap, that being the "hate" factor. When people freestyle they say mean, and sometimes evil things about people they care about. So when Shaq says "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes" he really means "Kobe, lets get married. You know it's legal now", or maybe something else. The fact is, it's not a big deal, and because of the fuss ESPN made over the video, we now have one less cop on our streets. What will the cats in Bedford county do now ESPN?

Ahhh. I've finally caught my breath....

2008-06-23T19:53:00.003-04:00

It's been a crazy month in the land of Climax. I recently graduated college, got married to my high school sweet heart, and went on a sweet honeymoon all in the same month. With all that business and excitement I've been left with zero time to write (yes I know, Indiana Jones came out a month ago). I've missed some great writing opportunities in the last month, sorry Lost finale (9.9/10), but there has also been some very serious events that occurred. There are the Midwest floods, the continued situations in Myanmar, China, Iraq, and Afghanistan, our economy, the Presidential race, and the passing of Tim Russert. These are events that everyone should keep tabs on daily. Just because the news media doesn't cover them 24/7 like CNN does Hulk Hogan, doesn't mean that they aren't happening. So with that said, it's great to be back and keep an eye out for regular updates

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the...wait WTF is This?

2008-05-28T11:50:00.006-04:00

Let me preface this review with a bit of praise. Steven Spielberg is one of the only mega-powers in Hollywood who I feel actually deserves the amount of respect he receives. His resume is nearly flawless, and he crafted my personal favorite movie of all-time, Jurassic Park (The Lost World never happened as far as I'm concerned). Four years ago when I heard that ol' Stevie was returning to the world of Indiana Jones and everyone from the original trilogy was on board, I quickly booked the next available trip to hype-town. The tragedy here is that I failed to recognize the warning signs. Not Spielberg, not Shia, not ancient Harrison Ford, but the the ruiner of all your childhood memories, George Lucas.

After Return of the Jedi, George Lucas forgot how to write a coherent story. If you don't believe me, then watch the new Star Wars trilogy. If you still don't believe me, watch it again. In all fairness, George wasn't alone in crafting the script for crystal skull. David Koepp, writer of my beloved Jurassic Park script, and the much less loved War of the Worlds. Like War of the Worlds, KOTCS is well acted, and the action sequences work very well. Also like War of the Worlds, the plot is haphazardly constructed. From the opening frame until the god-awful super happy/lame ending, the reasons why Indiana Jones is involved in any way with the hunting of the crystal skull are suspect at best. This is highlighted by the multitude of scenes where Indy has to explain exactly what is going on. I'm talking 10 minute stretches of expository dialogue that should be shown rather than told.

I really hate that the story was so terrible, because there were so many instances where I wanted to enjoy the film. Harrison Ford played an aged-Indy very well. Shia LaBouf brought the youth and the attitude that Ford had in his younger days, and like I said earlier, the action sequences were excellent. In each of the earlier films, Indy's quests had some sort of deep importance to him as a character (Well, maybe not in Temple of Doom). In Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Indy feels like he is simply along for the ride. A ride that lacked the sense of adventure and coherence that made the original Indy's so great.

Oh and I did I mention Aliens. In an Indiana Jones movie. I'm not kidding. Please, George Lucas, I beg you. From here on out leave my childhood screen legends alone.

6/10

Grand Theft Auto 4: My Long Overdue Review

2008-05-22T12:32:00.001-04:00

I'm actually very glad I waited to write down my thoughts about this game. At first I thought GTA 4 was the definition of over rated. IGN gave it a 10, 1up gave it an A+, EGM gave it a 10, so when I first played the game my expectations were at the 10 level. So naturally I was dissapointed. Weeks have passed and I've put about 35 hours into the game, and with some perspective I feel I can give GTA 4 it's fair score.

8/10......Here's how I broke it down.

Gameplay:

How a game plays is the square one, most important factor of any game. This was frustrating for me, because where GTA excells in so many areas, it is very inconsistent when it comes to actually controlling your character. The aiming system works very well and is an improvement over past GTAs. The ability to lock on to your enemies is a plus, especially considering the terrible free-aim function. The cover system is very clunky also, especially if you have played games like Gears of War and Uncharted. Sometimes when I try to take cover between to objects that are close to one another, Niko just starts shaking and wigging out. This usually ends up with me dead and my controller somewhere across the room. The driving system takes a little getting used to, as it's very tight and more realistic than past GTAs. This is nice until you start trying to chase people down and instead of bullets through their back window I end up in a bank of newspaper kiosks. I got used to many of these flaws over time, mainly because the story of the game really draws you in, making it easier to overlook the games control problems.

Story

Some games are just games, like sports franchises and Guitar Hero, but then there are games who do much more with the medium than people give credit. There has been a great-deal of hyperbole centering on GTA 4's storyline. IGN described it as "oscar-worthy", but what this really means is that Rockstar toned down the toungue-in-cheek jokes a little and turned up the serious drama. However engaging the story may be, it is not an oscar calibur tale. Once you reach the Florian/Bernie missions you'll soon understand what I'm talking about. It's not much different than past GTA plots. You start from the bottom of the crime latter and work your way to the top. What sets this game apart though is the fact that your character has a conscience, and you as the player make key decisions that effect your character. The character of Nico isn't some mindless thug. Sure he commits murder, steals and might pick up a prostitute or two.....but he feels guilty about some of it! That's drama if you didn't know.

Visuals

When you first look at GTA 4 you might not be very impressed by the overall look of the game, as their are many "prettier" games on the market. My advice is to just walk down the street and pay attention to the ridiculous amounts of detail. Every street has a name, every building has unique markings and weathering, the traffic lights and crosswalks work in harmony. Liberty City feels very real and it's amazing the amount of work that must have gone into its creation. I found myself sight-seeing quite a bit, which is justified, as Liberty City is a modern work of art.

Replay Value

I have always hated games that I play through one time and never have any use for after that. With games costing $60, I like to get my money's worth. The single player mode in GTA4 can take anywhere from 25 hours to 50 hours depending how deep you want to go. That my friends is replay value. This isn't even counting the time you will surely spend just blowing things up and running people down with your car.

The Rundown

At first I was supremely disappointed in GTA 4. Mainly because I didn't feel it lived up to the seemingly perfect review scores it received. Once I was able to separate hype from reality I was able to finally figure out how I really felt about the experience. GTA 4 is a very solid and enjoyable game that if nothing else is an example of how far video games have come. They are no longer silly little time wasters. Games can now be considered art with enough time and effort, and GTA is art. However, the game play elements fall short in many ways which in my eyes is 90% of the what makes games enjoyable.

So once again.....

8/10

Lost Double Dip: Something Nice Back Home and Cabin Fever

2008-05-12T13:49:00.009-04:00

It's a shame that it has taken me so long to write down my thoughts on the past two Lost episodes, as both of them were jam packed with new elements that added overall mythos, especially "Cabin Fever". What's not a shame is the reason why I haven't had much time to write. See, I am about to graduate from college. Which means I'm going to miss the infinite amount of excuses that college has offered me, but after five years and two degrees, it's safe to say that I'm ready for new things. Those new things will undoubtedly continue to involve my fanboy love for Lost. So don't look for that to change anytime soon.

So... about the past two episodes.

Something Nice Back Home

I will continue to spin the broken record when I state that I have zero interest in the love story angles on Lost. I realize that a large number of Lost's audience live and die by them, but I find the love triangles, quadrangles and all other love configurations to be minor story elements at best. I love the character dynamics on the show, and I love every character's back story, but when you're on an island that defies the space-time continuum, cures diseases and death. Then I feel there are far more interesting elements to study aside from who is in love. If I want that, then I'll watch P.S. I Love You and cry myself to sleep. With that being said, my favorite parts of this episode involved Jack's downward spiral, and the creepy words of Hurley, poor crazy Hurley.

Despite the plot revolving around a love angle once again, it was still effective in setting up how Jack came unhinged. Jack and Kate playing house was an interesting twist, but the way if fit into the timeline left no doubt that it wouldn't last. Once Kate agreed to marry Jack it seemed as if things were too perfect, and Hurley was quick to point that out. While I don't buy into the idea that they are all dead (purgatory,booo!), it's understandable that Hurley would think such a thing considering he has conversations with Charlie. It was also believable that thoughts of death and regret would drive Jack to the brink after his mainland encounter with his father. Regret which stems from whatever happened to Claire, as it seems Jack is aware that Claire was his sister. Which Jack makes evident in the "You're not even related to him" comment.

As for the island tales of this episode, there wasn't much to chew on. Sawyer and Miles being stuck together with Aaron will be interesting to see play out, and as this past week indicated, Claire's fate is a giant question mark. The surgery on Jack was a bit on the hokey side, but the interaction between Kate and Juliet was well acted and well written. It's also good to see Bernard get some screen time. He's more than just a dentist you know. He knows Morse code!

Overall, Something Nice Back Home was a solid episode that helped to fill in the gaps in Jack's timeline and raise more questions in regards to the islands mysterious qualities.

7.5/10

Cabin Fever

There are so many ways to approach this episode that I am honestly at a loss for how to approach it. Writing in paragraphs would be silly, as my recap could quickly turn into a sequel to the longest book ever written, which I would name "The Long Book Ever Written II: Keep Reading Sucker, You're Not Even Close"

So here are my thoughts/questions broken down by topic, and cleverly divided by bullet points

Richard Alpert

He doesn't age, this is clear, but does he time travel? Ben ran into Richard on the island when he was around the age of seven, this is also the same time Richard came to see Locke. I'm not convinced that Richard was so much time traveling as he was teleporting off the island (like Ben did a few weeks go) One would think that whatever technology that is being used on the island may have been there the entire time, and who's to say that Alpert wasn't able use it.

The Test

During Alpert's visit with Locke he asked him to pick out the thing that belongs to him already. I'd be lying if I said I knew what it meant. The only theory that I have at the moment is that Richard was testing to see if Locke was having episodes similar to Desmond, giving him flashes of future events. This is hinted at through Locke's drawing of the smoke monster.

Keamy

He's an awesome character, especially given the writers tendency to give us Villains in shades of grey. Keamy is 100% asshole , and the actor plays it well. I can't wait for the inevitable show down with Sawyer.
The XM radio attached to his arm= Smoke Monster defense strategy, or at least that's what I think it is.

The Freighter

Desmond has been relativly quiet since "The Constant" and it appears he's beginning to get his memories back. I'm guessing the next time him and Sayid meet that Penny may be at the center of it, and it wont be over dinner.

I'm still at a loss as to how Michael will play in the events leading into the Season Finale. He doesn't appear to have a plan, but now that he's free from captivity that could change.

I loved how the death of the Doctor played out, especially considering Omar had mentioned it to him only seconds before his throat was slit. It's clear there is a time rift, but how?

Locke, Ben and Hurley

Loved the dialogue between them. Michael Emerson never ceases to amaze me. "Destiny..She's a fickle bitch". Classic. However it's still hard to tell whether or not this is all some calculated plan by Ben, or whether he really has lost control after the death of Alex.

I'm happy to see that Jorge Garcia has been injected into some serious plot lines this season. If the episode had ended with Hurley giving the candy bar to Ben it might have been the best thing ever.

The Cabin

Christian is dead and he seems allright with it, but Claire? She was obviously alright with being there. And Aaron? "He's right where he needs to be" said Christian. Well Aaron's with Sawyer and soon to be Kate, so is that where he's meant to be? How Christian keeps appearing is still one of the big mysteries on the show. My only theory is that the way the island can effect the living (craziness, time jumps) can also have an effect on the dead.

The question that Locke asked was a throwback to Season One Locke. He has his swagger back, what happens next should be nothing short of awesome.

The idea of moving the island isn't far fetched. Think about the Black Rock. How else would an old slave ship end up in the middle of an island unless the island popped up underneath it. The island has been moved before and I have no doubt we will find out how. Maybe even this season.

Cabin Fever was a giant shout out to fans of Lost who feast on every last detail of the show. There have been few shows in television history that embed such small details into every episode. These aren't meaningless easter eggs either, they are elements to the story that allow the viewer to take their involvement as far down the rabbit hole as they want to go. Sure, you can ignore these things and still enjoy the show, but your missing the other 90% of the iceberg if you do that.

9.5/10

This weeks episode is the first part of a three part season titled "There's No Place Like Home". It looks to be filled with awesomesauce, so until then....graduate college.

Iron Man: Now That's What I'm Talkin 'Bout!

2008-05-07T15:12:00.004-04:00

I'll say it. I hated all three Spider-Man films. A combination of terrible writing and the twelve-year-oldification of the story ruined for me a trilogy of films that should have been classic. Yeah it made tons of money, but that will all be in vain when you look back in 20 years and shake your head in disbelief at how bad those movies were/are. Batman Begins proved that it's possible to make a comic movie that is faithful to the tone of the original yet still able to appeal to wide audiences. Iron Man takes everything learned from Batman Begins in regards to storytelling and inserts a dose of "kick ass", kicking the summer movie season off with one of the best superhero/comic book movies of all time. Forgive the hyperbole, but it's true. After the un-watchable disasters that were the Fantastic Four films, Marvel Comics had enough. Starting with Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk later this summer, Marvel has begun to produce their own films. This gives them complete control over casting, writing and the final cuts of the films, and if Iron Man is an example of things to come, thencomic book fanboys have a lot to look forward too.

First off, the casting of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is right up there with Chrisitian Bale as one of the best castings of a superhero in film history. Downey Jr. owns the role, as he is Tony Stark in every way. Mad props to Jon Favreau for not backing down and fighting to get his man for the role. Once the credits role, I dare you to think of someone who would have been better suited (no pun intended) for the role. The rest of the supporting cast is equally superb, as none of them are a slouch when it comes to their acting chops. Terrence Howard, Gwenyth Paltrow, and Jeff Bridges help make sure Iron Man will be taken seriously.

For those not familiar with the entire Iron Man mythos (me), the origins of Iron Man and life of Tony Stark are told in a such a way that it draws you in right away. I especially liked the mini-montage of Tony's life during the awards ceremony, it was creative and grounded Tony Stark in the real world. The story takes its time which allows time for the audience to get to know Stark, and by the time he builds the first suit, you feel as if he really could.

Aside from the excellent writing and pacing of the script, the action sequences were pure summer movie gold. The movie opens with an intense scene that I shall not ruin, and once Downey Jr. dons his suit, it's balls to the wall from there. The only slight quibble that I had was with the final battle between Iron Man and the Iron Monger, not that it was bad, it's just very sudden and doesn't last very long. The true ending however, is money, continuing the theme of this movie that Robert Downey Jr. is in fact awesome.

It has been a very long time since I have enjoyed a movie this much. From a pure "fun at the movies" standpoint, Iron Man trumps everything that I saw last year. The new comic book movie standard has been set.

What.....there's a new Dark Knight trailer...... OK, the standard has been set until July. Regardless, Iron Man is awesome, don't miss out on seeing it on the big screen.

9/10

Seriously Hillary, denial is the first step towards depression.

2008-05-07T14:33:00.005-04:00

After destroying Hillary in my home state last night (Guilford county what up!), it's all but certain that Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee. Even with the inclusion of Florida and Michigan, it is now, without a doubt impossible for her to "legitimately" win this thing. On top of that, every national poll puts her behind John McCain, all of her support is going Obama, and she's broke. Yet this morning Hillary announces that she will continue on. How she thinks she is helping the democratic party at this point boggles my mind. There are only two reasons why I think Hillary is doing this:

1. She wants to bow out gracefully after winning West Virginia and Kentucky in order to go out on top.

2. She's crazy.

Now it could be a combination of the two, but I'm leaning towards number one. I respect the fact that she doesn't want to give up, but look how that worked out for Roger Clemmens. I just hope she bows out by the end of the week. Hillary could do a great service to her party by campaigning for Obama, but instead she insists on helping John McCain win the election by continuing to twist the knife that is now lodged in her own back. I'm starting to think Hillary may actually be apart of Rush Limbaugh's "Operation Chaos". (Joking) Keep your eyes and ears open over the coming days as super delegates begin to come out in support of Obama, as the official Presidential ticket should be set very soon.

Lost: The Shape of Things To Come

2008-04-25T20:04:00.003-04:00

Benjamin Linus is one of the most complex characters in the history of television. This is a fact. From Henry Gale, to last nights Ben-diana Jones, he's proven to be versatile, manipulative and the smartest person on the island. Ben is in control of every situation he gets himself in and isn't easily shaken. Well, every situation but one. The execution of Alex was one of the heaviest and most shocking moments in Lost history, and up until the moment Keamey pulled the trigger, I never thought the writers/producers would go through with it. *BANG!!* With one shot they, as Ben put it, "changed the rules".

Already there has been a great deal of theorizing on the internetz as to what these "rules" are between Ben and Widmore. I'm skeptical of the idea that the two of them have an agreement of some sort as to how their war is being fought. I see these "rules" not so much as actual guidelines, but more of an unwritten code. Old school Sicilian mafioso, especially "men of honor" used to operate under a very strict code when it came to vendettas. No matter how deep the hatred between enemies, no one ever murdered women or children. Alex's death falls under this set of guidelines perfectly. Ben and Widmore are the heads of two very powerful entities, and both are considered "men of honor" by mafia guidelines, and the murder of his daughter crossed a line that Ben didn't think would be. This brings me to the meeting between Ben and Widmore. If the old mafia code is in fact the set of rules Ben assumed they were operating by, then that explains Widmore's reaction to Ben. Widmore is sorry about his daughter, but reminds Ben that he knows who he is and what he has done. Which I can only assume he is referring to the "purge" where Ben aided/planned the eradication of the entire Dharma Initiative. If Ben was playing by the rules, then killing around 100 people, including women and children, is a pretty gross violation of them. Which also explains Widmore's comment about Ben's audacity in acting like he was the victim. Regardless, it's still impossible to determine who's actually the bad guy, or if there is even a good guy in this situation. Which makes the show even better to watch, as it's up the viewer to make these assumptions until the answers are given.

Now some quick thoughts on the rest of the episode.

Sawyer's gun fight was a little on the weak side, except for the RPG to Claire's house. If were writing the episode I wouldn't have had Claire in the house, making her survival a little more realistic, but it's really not that big a deal.
Ben's jacket that he was wearing had a new Dharma symbol on it. I can only assume this is the Orchid Station referenced in the comic con video from last summer. You know, the one with teleporting bunnies.
How Ben controlled the smoke monster was interesting and I can't wait until that thing is finally explained. Which won't be until the last few episodes of the series I'm sure.
The bond between Claire, Hurley, and Sawyer is very believable, especially considering their connection to Charlie. So when Sawyer pulled the gun on Locke to defend Hurley, there was some real emotion behind it. That's called good character development.
The beach developments were small but interesting. The fact that the doctor from the boat washed up on the beach with his throat slit, yet they say he is still alive back on the boat is setting up for some wild time-travel/teleportation story lines in the coming weeks and for future seasons.
Sayid's reasons for working for Ben were explained and explained well. As manipulative as Ben is, convincing Sayid to kill after Nadia's murder was probably one of the easiest cons he's ever had to make
Kate is hot.

The Shape of Things to Come is one of my favorite episodes of the season, and would be on a greatest hits album of Lost episodes if there were such a thing. It shed light on existing mysteries such as the smoke monster and Widmore, while at the same time asking more questions in true Lost fashion. Back in the day, when there was no definitive end date for Lost, this is the type of episode that would have driven the haters wild. Now that Lost has an end, the stringing along of story lines is completely welcomed and necessary. I've always liked comparing Lost to a novel. You don't read books backwards, and when you start reading one, or better yet when people that respect narrative structure read a book, they usually don't skip to the end. Episodes like this one are important chapters, and when the answers do come, the vast layering of the mysteries will have a much bigger impact than a quick one scene solution.

9.7/10

Next weeks episode is called "Something Nice Back Home" and it's the first Jack episode of the season. Until then.....(play GTA IV)

if you want to dive deeper into the mafia code, then I recommend Alexander Stille's Excellent Cadavers, a biographical look into investigations into the mafia in Sicily during the 60's,70's and 80's

Male Nudity and Dracula Rock Operas:My Review of Forgetting Sarah Marshall

2008-04-20T02:57:00.007-04:00

Anything Judd Apatow touches turns to gold (except Drillbit Taylor). As it should. The guy himself seems down to earth, and his loyalties to his friends are something to be admired in what is usually is a "me first" industry. Every Apatow hit has been made by his circle of friends that stem from Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared. Jason Segel, the star and writer of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, was in Freeks and Geeks aside from starring in Knocked Up and the 40 Year Old Virgin. The director, Nicholas Stoller, was also a director on the short lived Undeclared. I bring this up because the level of friendship shared by these guys is one of the main reasons they continue to pump out hit after hit. Every Apatow production before this had hilarious dialogue that succeeds because of it's honesty, and it only seems that way because the actors speak to each other like they are shooting the shit in each others basements. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is just like this, and is yet again another movie you can toss on the "Apatow Classic" pile.

First off I must give props to Jason Segel for the great script. Somehow, these guys continue to take the very stale genre of romantic comedy, and turn them into something fresh. This is due to the smart dialogue, and most importantly, the classic performances of the stable of actors that inhabit the Apatow world. Bill Hader, Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel. There isn't much they can't make funny. That's not even mentioning the return of everyones favorite "That 70's Show" hottie, Mila Kunis. She's one of the best parts about Sarah Marshall. She's funny, she makes the story believable, and most of all, she's looking pretty, pretty good. Combine that with Kristen Bell and you have to seriously ask yourself why you wouldn't see this movie.

I'm honestly having a hard time finding anything bad to say about this movie. I've heard some complaints that Sarah Marshall runs a bit long, but I didn't find this to be the case. I can't really think of anything that needed to be left on the cutting room floor. I've heard some people say that Jonah Hill seems a little miscast, but I didn't find this to be the case either, that guy is funny in any role. From start to finish I was drawn in to the characters. It's also hard not to feel sorry for a guy who gets dumped while he's naked and it's equally hard not to laugh hysterically at it.

Go see it. You will laugh. Guaranteed.

8.5/10

Debate? Not so much.

2008-04-18T21:15:00.003-04:00

ABC News hosted a debate between Barack and Hillary this past Wednesday. However, it was a "debate" in name only. The first 40 or so minutes of the debate focused completely on total garbage that has nothing to do with the upcoming election. Followed by a tag-team effort between Hillary Clinton and George Stephanopoulis (former advisor to Bill Clinton) against Obama. ABC tackled such hard issues as lapel pins and events that occurred when Obama was 8, instead of real issues like the war and the economy. I'm all for debates, but if the rest of these between Barack and Hillary are nothing more than sophomoric b.s., then there is no need. Especially when these debates continue to encourage Hillary to stay in a race she can't win unless she resorts to some very underhanded, party-dividing, Karl Rovian like tactics.

Videogames, I profess my undying love to thee......

2008-04-17T19:44:00.007-04:00

If you read this blog (bless your soul), then you know that I love many things, including but not limited to current events, political campaigns, LOST, music and sports. However, there is one aspect of my life that I don't usually write about, and I think it's time to let that cat out of the bag.

Video games. Yes, video games. Since 1987, when I picked up the NES controller for the first time, a connection happened that I can only equate to the formation of the universe or a tsunami fighting an earthquake. It was magical.

Mario, Zelda, Battletoads, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Goldeneye, AKI wrestling games, Grand Theft Auto, Guitar Hero. These are just some of the games and franchises that have helped shape my life (not all of it, just the part of me that likes fun).

In my adulthood however, there has only been one game that has given me hours upon hours of enjoyment, not only gameplay wise, but also from a social standpoint. That my friends, is Halo.

Eat some Battle Rifle biiatch!!

It started with crazy Halo-LAN parties back in 02' (that's Local-area-network for the non-nerds), followed by hours and hours of co-op and split-screen. If it hadn't of been for Halo 1, I have no idea what me and my friends would've done in High School (I do know, but let's just say were much better off because of Halo). Halo 2 came around, and while being a slight step back from Halo in some aspects, was fun as hell online and moved Halo outside of the living room. Halo 3 is the latest (and possibly final) installment of the franchise, and in many ways is a collection of everything that made the first two games great.

I had started to drift a little bit from Halo 3, because I felt the overall collection of multiplayer maps had gone a bit stale. That changed this week. Big time. On Tuesday, Bungie released a collection of multiplayer maps that has brought my love for Halo, and all video games back with a surge of "vengeance and furious anger".

The maps are Avalanche (Sidewinder inspired), Blackout (Lockout remake), and Ghost Town (brand new). These maps have made for some classic games, and make Halo 3 a serious consideration for the best game in the series.

This was fun.

If you are a Halo fan, a disgruntled Halo fan,or a fan of first-person shooters in anyway, I highly suggest you check these maps out (Don't worry, Call of Duty 4 will be there when you get back).

Same fun, different angle.

So consider this the welcoming of video games as a permanent topic on me blog here. I'll be reviewing games, commenting on industry news, and talking about things that would otherwise send non-video game fans into a state of paralysis. It will be good times.

Halo 3 Legendary Map: 1o kills, 0 deaths. Perfection medal awarded! or 10/10

GTA IV in two weeks. I might need to get all of my papers written before then.

"How do I reeeeach these keeeeeds!"

2008-04-11T19:23:00.006-04:00

For anyone who believes in justice, this past weeks episode of South Park was for you. In this episode, Cartman teaches inner city High School kids how to cheat like Bill Belichick, only not as Eric Cartman, but as Eric Cartmenez. I'm so happy that Trey Parker and Matt Stone touched on this in a way only South Park could.

Best line of the entire episode, "He said 'Hey, let's go out and win this one for real' and what did they do? They lost."

Here's the link to the entire episode, the Patriots stuff is about half-way through:

http://www.southparkzone.com/episodes/1205/Eek-a-Penis!.html

Yeah, this will work

2008-04-09T12:05:00.003-04:00

The U.S. military is issuing handheld lie detectors to troops in Afghanistan in order to help find information quickly. I would love to have been sitting in on the pitch session for this idea. I'm sure it went a little something like this.

General 1

So, we are losing ground in Afghanistan, what can we do to fix the situation?

General 2

How about more troops and better equipment. I hear people respond well to a gun in their face.

General 1

That's the worst idea I've ever heard!

General 3

I have this crazy idea. You know how lie detectors are basically inadmissible in the court of law.

General 1

Yes..I like where you are going with this.

General 3

Well instead of body armor and bullet-proof humvees. Let's give each soldier a hand-held lie detector. That way we can bring stability to the region based on circumstantial and generally inaccurate information.

General 1

(stands and slowly begins to clap)

This will win us the war.

Here's the link to the actual article.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23926278/

There can be only ONE!!!!!

2008-04-03T23:14:00.008-04:00

For the first time since seeding began in the NCAA tournament, all four number one seeds have made the Final Four. This sets up the most brutal, ball busting, bracket shredding, dream destroying, baby punching, relationship ending weekend of basketball in the history of man. At least on paper anyways. Some of the most intriguing match ups of the tournament so far (Tennessee v Louisville, Memphis v. Texas, UCLA v. Xavier) have turned out to be complete duds. However, North Carolina, Kansas, UCLA, and Memphis each match up extremely well with one another. Each team has a strong interior game, each team likes to run the floor, each team plays defense like their lives depend on it. To find flaws in these teams you have to look very deep (except for Memphis, where you have to look no further than the foul line). Who will survive? I won't dare make a pick as I have a dog in this race, but one thing is for sure, out of these ones (Cue Christopher Lambert) THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Lost: Meet Kevin Johnson

2008-03-28T18:24:00.007-04:00

When Michael set sail from the island at the end of season 2, it was unclear whether or not we would actually receive any closure in the tale of Michael Dawson. Harold Perrineau's relationship with the producers had become strained, and the actor had a few pilots lined up for the fall season. Thankfully, all of those pilots failed, Harold made nice with Lindleloff and Cuse, and as a result, Lost fans will get their closure. Quite a bit of closure actually.

I loved how this episode was written. They started out with island exposition, with Ben setting up Rousseu and Karl, dove right into Michael's missed exposition, and then finished off with an end that I don't think anyone could have predicted. The pacing was tight, and it seemed like every second a massive A-Bomb of information was being dropped on us.

Michael's state of mind was one of the most compelling aspects of the episode. Most fans (and Ben) agree that Michael killing Ana-Lucia and Libby seemed excessive when it came to rescuing Walt, and the guilt of those senseless killings has driven Michael to the edge. The scenes where Michael attempts to kill himself are very intense, and Perrineau does an outstanding job making them believable. It turns out Michael can say more than "Waaaaaaaaalllllllttttt", in fact, he can play manic depressive pretty well. M.C Gainey also made his triumphant return as Tom, revealing more of how the Others actually operate as an operation through recruiting Michael. They manage to convince Michael that stopping the freighter might be Michael's only chance at redemption, because the island won't let off so easily as simply killing himself. This scene still left we wondering how the Others have a seemingly endless supply of information, money, and gay lovers. Yes, Tom is gay, just like everyone predicted, but it was nice to see it finally revealed, despite it's relative cheesiness.

Then there's the ending. People who know me, know that I'm a spoiler hound, and I had no idea that this was coming at all. Of course there was the warning from the ABC promo department ("Someone will.......DIE!!!!"), but I never suspected that it would go down like that. I have a pretty good feeling that Karl is gone, but Danielle? That's up for debate over the next few weeks. Also up for the debate is whether or not Ben set up Danielle and Karl to get the ax or someone else entirely.

Overall, Meet Kevin Johnson was a solid episode and a triumphant return for Harold Perrineau. How he will play into the rest of the season should be interesting to watch, and adds yet another layer to the onion that is the Lost story. The

The next new episode isn't until April 24th and will be the first of the final five episodes of the season. Right now all signs point to the episode being a Sayid flash forward. If that's true, then season 4 continues to be very unorthodox, as there has yet to be an episode about Jack, Locke, or Sawyer. I guess we'll find out. Until then.........watch more Basketball.

9.1/10

America. You just got served.

2008-03-19T12:54:00.003-04:00

The comments that Jeremiah Wright made were ridiculous, and as an Obama supporter I was very concerned as to how he would react. I thought his media tour after the comments was effective, but I didn't think that he would be able to fight back the media hellstorm in the end. Then Barack Obama did something I didn't think he would be able to do. He took this situation with Rev. Wright and turned it into an impassionate, intelligent, and much needed dialogue on the state of race in this country. While he still condemned Wright's comments, he shed light on the reasoning behind his attitude while at the same time accurately stating the racial qualms of the white community. Obama was honest to America, and displayed the ability that he has claimed to possess over the past few months during his campaign. I know people give Obama greif, telling him that he is simply a great speaker, but people forget that the most inspirational and effective leaders that we've ever had in this country possesed the ability to inspire through words. Never in my short life have I seen some one with this ability as I see it in Barack.

Lost Double Dose: The Other Woman and Ji Yeon

2008-03-18T19:34:00.004-04:00

Once again real life has stood in the way of me writing timely Lost reviews. Damn you responsibility! Luckily I was still able to watch the past two episodes, and on top of that, I was able to formulate opinions about them. Whuda thunk it?

First up is....

The Other Woman

This episode had the misfortune of following up the greatness that was "The Constant". Which means that inevitably, it was going to be a let down. The flashbacks themselves were a bit melodramatic, but also very informative in the manner that they shed more light on the creepiness of Ben. It think that it's now very well established that Juliet has every reason to want Ben dead, and even more reason to want to get off of the island. Harper, the new Other, was sort of clumsily introduced (not nearly as inept as Nikki and Paulo), and her appearance and disappearance in front of Jack was a little much for me. I guess the Losties are so used to random events happening, that some chick vanishing before their eyes isn't that big of a deal anymore. Just ask Ghost Walt.

What did work very well in this episode was every scene that Terry O' Quinn and Michael Emerson shared together (Ben and Locke). The conversations written for these two deserve truckloads of Emmy's. The way Ben underhandedly manipulates Locke is fun to watch, except this time Locke had something to come back with, as he had convinced Miles to start talking (A grenade in your mouth will tend to do that). Their conversation led to what is one of the biggest revelations so far this season, and that is that Penny's father, Charles Widmore, is the man after Ben, and also the island itself. Tie this together with Charlotte and Daniel's interest in the island (they were hand picked by Widmore for their expertise) and what a wonderful web Lost is weaving.

The Other Woman told a mildly interesting Juliet story that if nothing else painted a clearer picture of the true strength that Ben possesses. This was meant to make us as the audience question Ben's motives in revealing sensitive information to Locke. Faraday and Charlotte continue to be in a morally grey area as well. In one scene they are pistol whipping fools (Kate), and in the next scene they are saving those same fools lives. The gas they deactivated also serves as another reminder as to how crazy Ben is, hence to weight put on the closing scene with Ben walking free in Othertown. Intriguing. Indeed.

8/10 (extra point for the Widmore reveal alone)

Next up is......

Ji Yeon

(The date of Jin's death is the same date of the crash of 815)

Don't get me wrong, Sun and Jin's back story has always been one of my favorites, but the first 45 minutes of this episode were borderline sappy. The reveal that Sun and Jin made it off the island was interesting, everything on the freighter was awesome (especially the speech the Captain gave about Widmore) , and Juliet stabbing Sun in the back by telling Jin that she was indeed, a triflin' hoe. All of this was fun, nice and entertaining, then the last 15 minutes happened. It was then that the writer's pulled the rug out from underneath me, and then continued to kick me in the head repeatedly until the credits rolled.

In fifteen minutes, Michael returned (no real shocker there), we realized that we had been watching Sun flash-forward, and a Jin flashback in the same episode, and last but not least, Jin dies. How, when or if are still yet to be determined, but Jin is dead in the future. These revelations in the last fifteen minutes transformed what had been a sappy episode into an excellent piece of storytelling, as Lost continues to find new ways to reinvent itself here during the course of Season four.

9.5/10

This weeks episode is the last before a four week break. It's titled "Meet Kevin Johnson" and will be a Michael flashback story. The next new episode is April 24th, when Lost will return with a new time slot, Thursdays at 10:00. Until then....watch some basketball.

Oxygen Tanks and Dead Dogs: My Review of No Country For Old Men

2008-03-12T20:08:00.006-04:00

First off, this guy above, he's the baddest/craziest/smartest mofo you'll ever seen in a movie. Period. I was having nightmares about Anton Chigur before he stepped foot on screen.

Javier Bardem deserved that Oscar, no doubt about it.

No Country For Old Men was a very tense, haunting, and depressingly true tale of the small, forgotten elements that exist in our country. You know, the small towns, the gas station clerks, the blue collar workers who are struggling to make ends meet, the parts of this country who work so hard to get ahead yet never get anywhere. Some people begrudgingly accept it (Tommy Lee Jones), and some people fight it (Josh Brolin), and some people fall off the tracks (Javier Bardem), or in Bardem's characters case, they completely destroy said tracks.

I'm not saying this movie is a completely realistic portrayal of these ideals, but it does do an effective job of presenting them in the framework of a down and out welder who happens across $2 million dollars, and is subsequently hunted down by the most sadistic assassin since well.....since ever. Through excellent cinematography and selective, smart dialog, and odd pacing, the Coen Brothers delivered a movie experience that I've never seen before. I won't go so far to say that it was my favorite movie from 2007, because there where a few more that I "enjoyed" more, or shall I say, put me in a better mood. However, No Country for Old Men more than deserved Best Picture honors for the level of detail and expert story telling that it displays. This is movie that will stick with you for a long time.

9/10

McCain Hearts Waterboarding

2008-03-07T21:01:00.002-05:00

John McCain has more reason than anyone in this country to be an advocate against the use of torture by the U.S. military, which he has been for a very long time. In fact, in one of the last republican debates, McCain speaks out against torture, specifically the use of water boarding. Now, for some reason, McCain suddenly doesn't think that it's all that bad. So much so, that he opposes the bill set forth to ban water boarding.

Why the sudden change? Oh yeah, I remember. John McCain has zero political backbone.

Republicans who hate McCain do so because he always followed his own beliefs, and not the beliefs of his party. Since 2000, McCain has abandoned that approach and now changes his mind a the drop of a hat if it means a few more votes from the base of his party. Which is exactly what McCain is doing in this situation. There is no other way to explain why a former POW, who was painstakingly tortured for 5 years would support torture.

But for some reason, he does now. Only a few days after he is endorsed by President Bush.

Here we go again....

Lost Double Dose: Eggtown and The Constant

2008-03-03T15:13:00.010-05:00

Completely missed reviewing Lost last week do to my crazy schedule continuing to be crazy. Just because it was missed does not mean that it has been forgotten. So to make up for it I'll toss a few thoughts up before I review the mind melter that was "The Constant".

Eggtown

Kate episodes are usually my least favorite, and minus a few "WTF" moments, this one was no different. I generally just find her flashback/flashforward storylines to be repetitive and uninteresting. I get it, Kate likes to run and she ruins everything she touches. She's a pivotal character on the island, but the rest of her cannon needs a shot in the arm. I did enjoy Sawyer and Kate's conning of Locke in order for Kate to talk to Miles, however, the "deal" that they struck seemed a little silly, even though the conversation between Miles and Ben raised some questions about who and what Ben really is off the island. Locke's reatliation was fun to watch, especially the grenade he shoved in Miles' mouth. However, his banishment of Kate led to one of the lamest scenes in Lost history. That of course being the Sawyer and Kate "Grey's Anatomy" scene. There's just something about romantic relationship dialogue on this show that doesn't work for me. It seems forced. Thankfully it doesn't last long, and Sawyer kicks Kate to the curb like the straight pimp that he is.

The most interesting parts of Eggtown were small. For example, Jack's testimony in Kate's trial. Obviously a lie, Jack's story sheds a little light on the Oceanic 6's predicament, serving as a little piece of the puzzle that will bring the flashforwards into focus down the line. The biggest moment of the hour came in the final seconds when it was revealed that Kate, for some reason, is raising Aaron, Claire's weird looking baby. For what reason, and under what circumstances are left in the air in true Lost fashion, but I'm sure we'll know the answer by the end of May. Another peculiar moment was Jack's reaction to Kate's child. I'm not sure if he knows that the baby is actually Claire's, or if he think's it's Sawyers', but he's uncomfortable with the situation that's for sure.

Overall, Eggtown was hit and miss for me. It had some strong moments, such as the ending, but for the most part was an uninteresting "shipper" story (storylines focused on relationships). That's not to say I hated it, but it was the weakest of what so far has been the strongest season to date.

7/10

Now to the good stuff.....

The Constant

The Lost writers have flirted dangerously close to unveiling Lost as a sci-fi show. Yet every time the show steps a foot over the line, it jumps back over, shuts the door and turns out the lights(the monster, Dharma, miraculous healings, ghost Walt and so on). Last year, Desmond's episode "Flashes Before Your Eyes", was the semi-coming out sci-fi party by introducing time travel theories, but things went quiet on that angle soon after. Last weeks episode, "The Constant", changed things. In fact, it changed everything. Including my pants. Ladies and Gentleman, time travel is real. Or at least it is on Lost.

Now I know when the average person hears the phrase "time travel" and "television drama", the words "genius" and "compelling" don't usually follow. I normally think the concept is lame as well, mainly because most television shows and movies (sans Back to the Future), don't take the time to explain and make sense of how it would even be possible. This is the reason why "The Constant" is one of the most intelligently written hours in Lost history, but also a lesson in story structure for any aspiring screenwriter (me!), and an amazing display of how to awesomely edit. Yes, awesomely. It's that good.

When Desmond starts losing his mind I was skeptical. I've seen that plot element on other shows, and it usually ends in disaster, which looked eminent on this occasion too. That is, until my boy Daniel Faraday started dropping knowledge.

Human beings only use 10% of their brain. The power of the other 90% has been a source of scientific study for as long as Phrenology has existed. When the hatch exploded, Desmond was exposed to a high level of electromagnetism that jarred his collective conscious loose in the framework of time. Allowing his mind to jump randomly through time. Why and how is this possible? Faraday explains.

Imagine your entire life as a timeline where both the future and the past exist in conjunction with the present. What's happens to Desmond, is that the force of the electromagnetism on his brain jarred his mind loose in time, not his entire body. Allowing him to jump to alternate moments in time without the ability to control it.The only way to fix his problem was to find a constant. Something or someone that exists in both his past and his present in order to give his brain an anchor to base time on. By finding Penny and alerting her to his problem, Desmond was able to bring his mind back to homeostasis. Cementing his place in time once again. Now this may sound crazy and far-fetched, but what's happening on Lost is cemented in real scientific theories by such thinkers as Michael Faraday (whom Daniel's character is named after) and Stephen Hawking. Especially Hawking's String Theory, which can be used to explain Desmond's ability to move through time, as String Theory not only takes into account as time being a fourth dimension, but the possibility of there being an infinite number of dimensions beyond human understanding. Sorry, didn't mean to nerd out there, but these concepts are what make Lost so great. You can take the show at surface value, or you can follow the rabbit hole as deep as it will go.

On top of the mixture of scientific theory and storyline, "The Constant" was edited to perfection. The cuts between time jumps were creatively done as they came without warning, just like they were for Desmond's character. It got even better when the jumps to Desmond's past placed him in scenes that were filled with an abundance of clues to the origin of the island. During the auction scene, Penny's father, Charles Widmore, was bidding on a diary from the Black Rock. Which is the wrecked slave ship that is somehow in the middle of the island. The author of the diary had the last name "Hanso", which is very important considering the "Hanso Foundation" are the founders of the Dharma Intiative. Oh how the plot thickens.

The Constant was an incredible rebound from what I considered a weak episode in "Eggtown". Further proving that Lost as a show is incredibly focused, and answers to the mysteries we have been discussing for years are starting to take shape.

This weeks episode is title "The Other Woman" and it's Juliet flashback. Good times.

10/10

Girl! You Crazy!!!

2008-02-29T21:20:00.003-05:00

If you watch TV, read the news, or breathe air, then you without a doubt know the dynamics of the 2008 democratic "Race to the White House". In the beginning, Hillary Clinton was a shoe-in to be the nominee, but over time the charismatic, super-awesome, cooler-than-a-polar bears-toenails Barack Obama started doing his thing. Unfortunately for Hillary, Barack's "thing" just so happens to be "destroying Hillary Clinton". As the margin between Hillary and Barack grows, so do the wild antics of our former First Lady.

Last week she gave the award winning masterpiece called "Shame on you Barack". A gripping tale of a shameful political mailer filled with hurtful quotes. Before that was the epic saga of "Barack Obama's Plagiarism", only to find out it he was actually paying tribute to one of his political mentors.

For the most part, all of the complaints that Hilary has made have been relatively harmless and nothing to complain about. Then I read this today (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23408698/) . This pissed me off.

Hillary complained that Barack was dipping into Karl Rove's playbook, yet Hillary seems to be the best one at applying Rove's tactics. Changing the rules of an election because your afraid you're going to lose is not only corrupt, whiny, and just plain wrong. It's also a throwback to the crap we've had to deal with for the last seven years. Changing laws that you don't like is the George Bush style of working that we need to get away from, not embrace. So Hillary, I only have one thing to say to you.

Girl!!!!!!(snaps fingers). You crazy!

Lost: The Economist

2008-02-21T18:18:00.002-05:00

Once again, I'm a week late on my Lost review. As much as would love to devote all of my writing to Lost, I've written way too much for school in the past week to make writing fun. Thankfully, that feeling wore off fast.

Quick Thoughts:

-Sayid is super bad-ass.
-The island is 31 minutes behind the outside world. What that means for the future of the show is massive.
-I'm beginning to think that Ben might not necessarily be "bad". Sure, Sayid is working for him under duress, but the enemy that Sayid is going after might be a mutal one.
-The freighties are a very strong group of characters.
- Didn't see the Hurley turn coming. It's weird to see the core group of Losties start to fracture. I'm even more surprised it didn't happen sooner.
- " N. I'll be with you Always. R.G". Who is R.G., and why is Sayid so enamored with Naomi's bracelet.

Some of the biggest moments in this episode were some of the most subtle. Daniel's expiriment has far-reaching effects on the origin on the island, and Hurley's turn might have something to do with why he apologized to Jack in the first episode for not going with him. It's also very interesting to see the further decline of Jack's authority over the group, as Sayid straight told him that his strategies are terrible. Then of course there was the moment where Sayid and Desmond left the island, becoming the first castaways to seemingly get off (except for Michael). It was a pretty cool moment.

Tonight's episode is Kate-Centric and it's called "Eggtown". With that, plus the debate on tonight, it should be a good night of television. Check check it.

9/10

Vote or Die!!! or Live, or nothing!

2008-02-21T18:12:00.003-05:00

Barack and Hillary are squaring off tonight on CNN. Should be interesting to see how Hillary reacts to her massive losing streak, and also how both respond to John McCain's questionable dealings with a certain hot lobbyist.

Tune in.... 8:00 p.m.